4.5head

The term “forehead” refers to the area of the human face that lies between the eyebrows and the forward area of the scalp. Since the term sounds exactly like “four-head,” people have coined the term “fivehead” to describe a higher-than-average forehead, since five is bigger than four. Numerous celebrities have fiveheads, including Jennifer Garner, Mena Suvari and Christian Slater. Now, one must not call bald people like Patrick Stewart or Ben Kingsley fiveheads, because it is the shape of the face and the head that cause fiveheadedness, not one's hairline natural hairline. I believe that if Patrick Stewart hadn’t lost his hair, he would have only an average forehead. Sorry, but in my book, a receding hairline is not reasonable enough grounds for classification as a fivehead.

It has been said that a normal forehead is one in which you can fit four fingers in between your eyebrows and your hairline. This isn’t a rational standard, though, because of the varying thicknesses of human fingers. I don’t want to measure the height of my forehead with the fingers of an anorexic person, as I might wind up having a six- or a sevenhead. Then again, if George Foreman did the measurement, I might just be a two- or a threehead.

I do have a high forehead, but I don’t consider it to be huge. From my own measurements, I’ve determined that I’m a 4.5 head. Or should I call it fourpointfivehead? That is, 4.5 fingers fit between my eyebrows and my hairline. I do have to point out that my fingers are not all of uniform size. I have unusually fat thumbs and unusually thin pinkies.

When someone comes up with a universal standard, let me know.